healthy relationships

When Those who Love Us, Hurt Us

When Those who Love Us, Hurt Us

I know we like to think that people who love us don’t hurt us. The reality is, people can really love you and hurt you. When love walks in the room, many of us become afraid....love is so amazing that we don't want it to ever leave. This can ignite fear, and then we start acting crazy. Yes, love makes our stuff come up.

Ego: The Enemy of Consciousness

Ego: The Enemy of Consciousness

So what is the ego? The ego is difficult to define because the ego is an illusion. Still, I will try to capture it. Our ego is the thing that makes us feel embarrassed when we trip on the carpet when we are in a room alone, or when someone is looking. Our ego would like to believe that we should not trip, fall, or get it completely wrong. Ego could be described as a false self that we develop based on a collection of beliefs and experiences that allow us to answer life’s continuous  question, “Who am I?” Your response to the “I am” question is what drives the actions you take in attempt to experience yourself as you think, or say, you are. But when ego rules we struggle to answer the “I am” honestly…

Be a Better Lover! Why Love Languages Matter

Be a Better Lover! Why Love Languages Matter

Our first value reads “We practice and promote love toward self, others, and the earth that we share.” When working with our clients, love comes first. One of the most important books I’ve read on love was Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. I recommend this book to anyone who seeks to create love with another. I know this book is often recommended for those in romantic relationships, but Chapman offers instruction on the 5 Love Languages in the workplace, of children, for singles, men, etc… He has a book for everybody.

Love Yourself Today!

Love Yourself Today!

If you are not granting yourself the love you expect from others, you are actually not loving others...you are using them to meet the your unfulfilled needs. That, dear, is not love. That is manipulation. The universe is designed to reflect the realities we have first created in our minds. When you know that you are worthy of healthy love and respect, receiving it will only affirm what you already expect. Being loved, and being loved well, is all that you will allow from yourself and others.

Changed People, Change People

Changed People, Change People

Each of us plays a very specific role in our families. Often that role is decided in childhood and we continue to play that part into our adult years. Some people play the role of "black sheep" "the successful one" or "the one who got out". Others are the perpetual "baby" of the family. Some are "the one you can call on." Others spend their adult lives stuck in the role of "Mama's boy" or "Daddy's girl." Although we might function completely differently at work or at home, when we get around our family, it is almost natural to fall into place. Do you like the role you play in your family? Does the assignment work for you?

Lessons from the Storm

Lessons from the Storm

God sends the storms to encourage growth. Storms are designed to do many important things in our lives. They teach us valuable lessons about ourselves, others, and the lives we have created. Here are a few important lessons that you can learn from your storms.

The Friendships we Choose

The Friendships we Choose

When I began to grow I could no longer listen to stories that I'd longed to listen to before. I could hear the lack of self-worth in her decision "give him one more chance," I could hear his internal rage in his daily gripe about his "stupid boss," and I could see the role she played in her money problems. I was no longer attracted to it. I just couldn't be around that $h@!. I wanted people who would support me in being my best-self. I needed more.

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries

If you find yourself struggling to set boundaries it could result from several core issues. Did you grow up in a family where you learned you did not have rights to your space? safety? privacy? feelings? thoughts? money? Do you struggle with dealing with feelings of guilt or shame for asserting boundaries? Did you learn that it was good to always put others needs and desires before your own? Do you believe that you deserve respect? Do you know how to require it?