What is most appealing to women, and men alike, is having someone know the real you and choosing to love you anyway. Despite all the fears, flaws, mistakes, issues, and imperfections, we seek to be loved in spirit and truth. This type of love is only created through radical honesty. Real love involves risk.
If you find yourself struggling to set boundaries it could result from several core issues. Did you grow up in a family where you learned you did not have rights to your space? safety? privacy? feelings? thoughts? money? Do you struggle with dealing with feelings of guilt or shame for asserting boundaries? Did you learn that it was good to always put others needs and desires before your own? Do you believe that you deserve respect? Do you know how to require it?
As a Dean I learned to love and support others while keeping myself safe. It is okay to leave the room when someone else is hurting themselves to the extent that they might cause you pain as they work through their stuff. You have permission to keep yourself at a safe distance while still loving an supporting someone else.