It is Women's History Month! How exciting! Women are truly amazing. In effort to encourage women to be more beautiful, loving, and strong, I thought to share a few words on the power of the feminine. Before, I begin I would like to acknowledge that feminine is not necessarily associated with women. Feminine is actually an energy and it can be embodied by both men and women. I have both masculine and feminine energy and understanding the difference helps me make conscious choices about what energy I'd like to lead with and when I'd like to lead with it. For example, when I am working, I choose to lean into my masculine energy. I am active, assertive, leading, and moving. In social settings, I allow my feminine to lead and I choose to nurture, flow, and allow people and things to come to me. I am a force of attraction. For the sake of this article, I will speak about feminine although it is synonymous with female and masculine as though it is male (even though I just said I know better).
Feminine is a source of attraction. Feminine is beautiful because it exists, or simply because it is. Where masculine energy is made powerful by what it creates or produces, feminine is innately powerful. Just like female children are born with all the eggs they will need to reproduce for the rest of their lives, Maybelline got it right, "Maybe she's born with it". She is born with it. And she's sitting on it each day. :-) The question is, does she know it?
Feminine women are powerful when they are still enough to be in touch with themselves. Her power is not outward (masculine) but inward. The more she pays attention to her feelings, thoughts, and needs, the more attractive she is. Because feminine energy is the most powerful, masculine is always seeking out the feminine (Yes girl, he will come and get you). Feminine must trust that she's already got it; thus, all she has to do is wait (just like the egg is still, it waits for "him" to come. Let him swim to you girl!)
Feminine women are goddesses. Like the moon (feminine) reflects the sun (masculine); thus, feminine offers feedback. Whatever she takes in, she reflects. Ladies, you must be careful about what you take in. Masculine will always give, what you decide, is what you receive. Receiving is powerful. What do you take in? What do you allow? Are you taking some stuff you don't want? As women, our natural state is to grow whatever we take in, and then to birth it. Thus, we have to be protective of our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical gifts. If you receive love, you will grow in love within yourself, and then you will birth, or expand, that love in your home, work, and every other place you enter. If you receive abuse and mistreatment, you will grow in anger, and you will birth violence, anger, and ugliness in your home. You, feminine, are responsible for what you take in. You are responsible for what you open up to (think about it). Remember, masculine is always trying to connect with feminine, so if you don't open yourself up to it, he'll likely try again with something that you will open for, or allow. In layman's terms, if he wants to date you but his pants are sagging, if you require that he gets a belt, he will. Well, he will if he wants to be with (or dare I say "get into") you.
Only women who know who their worth, or the power of their fem, are confident enough to say "no" when someone is offering them something they don't want. So many of us are excited that someone gave us something that we'll take anything. Don't be so glad he asked you on a date that you go even if he is an hour late. Don't take that! You are a nurturer, you will grow in resentment and before you know it you will be calling him names. Feminine gets stuff done through her kindness. Just gracefully say, "I was really looking forward to our dinner. I even wore something special; however, I feel (yes, lead with your feelings!) disrespected and somewhat unimportant because you didn't come on time. I am looking to feel prioritized and valued. Would you like to try and reschedule at a time that you can commit to honoring?" Translated this really means: "Get out of my face with this ish" but it is so feminine that he will naturally respond. He'll likely do better because "she is so sweet"...and she is getting what she wants. Receiving is powerful: If you don't want it, don't take it. If doesn't serve your highest good, don't open yourself up to it. Feminine nurtures everything, the good and the bad. Expand the goodness honey! You have to trust that you are worth it. Feminine surely is.
The difficult part about getting in touch with your feminine is that our society values masculine energy. We are very performance orientated and are often focused on leadership. Most Americans spend the majority of our lives in our masculine energy. We, as a society, are desperate for feminine: softness, understanding, patience, nurturing. When a feminine goddess steps into a room, she is so attractive because she is so rare. She is graceful, allowing, and emotionally connected. She flows. Remember, feminine energy does not lead, it follows. I know "following" is only popular on Twitter, however, when one understands the power of surrender the gift of feminine is revealed. For example, following, or submitting is a choice. You have the power to decide who you submit to, and who you don't. You can decide what is allowed, and what is not. No one can be a leader if you do not decide to follow. For example, I can choose the feminine role in my relationship. I can choose to let him drive the car; however, being the passenger is just as powerful as driving. If he is not going in a direction that works for me, I can choose to get out of the car. Now he is no longer a leader, he is alone. Feminine is influential. Her presence is her gift. If he wants you there, he'll adjust so that is someplace you can be. You have to be willing to walk away when it doesn't feel good to you...and remember all that good feminine you are walking away with: the bosom of kindness and understanding, the gift of beauty, a smile and joyful spirit, the womb that builds nations, the recipes that feed families, and, yes, "the cookie." Just sit on that feminine girl! and Laugh! HA! You've already got it! Maya Angelou wrote the most beautiful ode to feminine energy that I've read, "Phenomenal Woman". Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeFfhH83_RE.
Understanding the power of masculine and feminine energy is a HUGE concept to get in this short amount of words, but I hope you captured something. I'll follow up with the power of masculine next week. This week, I encourage everyone to get more in touch with their feminine side, even the men. Focus on your feelings. Pay attention to nature. Move with the earth. You are a force of attraction, whatever you need, it will come to you. If you need a coach, I am already here.
Dr. Adrianne R. Pinkney,
Integrative Wellness & Life Coach