This weekend was Mother's Day and I reflected on the importance of mothers. I honor women as the first teachers for their children. The effect that women have on their children begins the moment the child is conceived. Whatever the mother feeds herself, the child eats. Whatever the mother feels, the child feels. Whatever the mother allows, the child experiences. Children drink from their mothers bosoms; and our mothers remain our "source" long after we are weaned. Some of us struggle in our adult lives because we spent years drinking spoiled milk: attached to the bosom of a woman who was unwell and who could not give us what we needed because she didn't give these things to herself. I encourage women to love themselves because it is the only way we can ever properly love our children. I am deeply invested in women's wellness. The wellness of women is paramount because women are nation builders. To build strong children, families and nations woman must first care for themselves. To teach is to demonstrate. If we are to teach our children to love themselves we must show them the way through how we treat ourselves, others, and how we treat them.
Ladies, nourish yourself with healthy food, positive people, affirming words, loving touches, honoring relationships, and fulfilling work. Each day wake up and do something beautiful for you. Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful, smell scents that you like, listen to music that makes you smile, read positive literature, and make sure someone gives you a hug. Remember, a man will only love you to the extent that you love yourself. Love yourself fiercely.
I encourage men to be intentional about the women they choose to spend time with, marry, and create a family. A woman is the energetic force in your home. If you want a happy home, choose a happy woman (and be sure to contribute to her happiness). Men who have unacknowledged and unhealed wounds from their mothers are unable to select healthy partners; they can only recreate the past. Men, you are responsible for the woman you choose for yourself and your children. Heal yourself so that you can select the right partner. What she feeds herself, is what you will eat (literally and figuratively)! Choose a woman who feeds herself good things. Allow us to serve as your coach as you work toward creating a beautiful relationship.
This Mothers Day I sat in the kitchen with my mother and I smiled. I told her I was proud of her. She has come a long way. I understand the impact of my mothers actions and choices when she did not yet love herself. Many of these choices affected me in ways I am still working to heal. Healing is a practice and process. I understand now that none of those things she did, said, or allowed had anything to do with me. I was attached to a woman who did not yet understand her worth. Today, I admire her as a woman is who coming into herself and her divine goddess power. A woman who is willing to learn, change, and grow. Ladies, I encourage you to do the same. Allow us to coach you as you journey toward a more loving life. You deserve it.
Dr. Adrianne R. Pinkney
Integrative Wellness and Life Coach