As this month is Mental Health month, I felt led to discuss the importance of understanding your mind. I'll begin by explaining the important difference between the brain and the mind. The brain is the physical organ most associated with mind and consciousness, but the mind is not confined to the brain. Your mind is part of the invisible, transcendent world of thought, feeling, attitude, belief and imagination. Any change we seek, no matter how big or small, must begin with changing our minds. En Vogue said it best, "Free your mind, and the rest will follow." But how do we free our minds?
Becoming conscious of our thoughts, or beliefs, about ourselves, others and the world are the first step to mindfully creating the life we deserve. Our thoughts greatly influence what we do and how we feel. For example, remaining in a relationship with an unfaithful partner might be the the function of the thought, "All men cheat." This thought, often unconscious, might be used to justify staying in a relationship in which you are more susceptible to physical disease and mental, spiritual, and emotional dis-ease as well. The belief that all men cheat might cause you to feel stressed, anxious, and angry in relationship with men. These feelings will influence what you do, or your behavior, in relationships. Expecting to be hurt by men might cause you to search your partners phone or to experience anxiety if he comes home later than expected. Believing that "all men cheat" will also cause you to find evidence that what you believe is true. The mind is always working to make itself right, or to affirm what it knows. You will find proof of cheating men in music, television and in the lives of others. You are also likely to ignore evidence that their are faithful men (which there are!) or dismiss examples of monogamous relationships with comments like, "They just got married...just wait" or "She just hasn't found out yet." If you are ready to have a new experience you must first begin by changing your mind! Replace, "All men cheat" with "I am ready to experience my loving and faithful partner." (It even feels better to think this way!) It all starts with you and what you are thinking.
Once you learn to trust yourself, being in relationships is much easier no matter what your partner does. Making a commitment like: "I commit to relationships that honor me," will allow you to trust that you will establish and remain in relationships that are consistent with what you believe you deserve. Your new thoughts are the first step toward the loving and honorable relationship you desire. Are you ready to change your mind?
Our thoughts influence every area of our lives. Many people do unfulfilling work because they believe, "You have to do what you have to do" to pay the pills. They have been inundated with thoughts that "work is hard" and have created lives that affirm the initial thought. Do you do work you enjoy? Do you expect to enjoy work? What do you believe about family life? What are you thoughts about relationships? What do you think about you? Do you think about you? Once you become aware of your thoughts ask yourself: Is this thought true? Is this thought important? Is this thought helpful? Is this thought even mine (or did I learn this from a parent, music/television, society)?
If you would like to change your life, you must first change your mind. Allow B. Well to coach you as learn to become aware of the thoughts that do not serve you and replace those thoughts with positive and self-affirming beliefs about yourself and others. Together we will work to mindfully create a beautiful and loving life. You can live a life so beautiful it will blow your mind!
Dr. Adrianne R. Pinkney
Integrative Wellness and Life Coach