Recently, I have spent the majority of my time working with young folks. My work with children and young adults has helped make me a stronger coach for adults. I realize that many core issues we face as adults begin in our formative years. Our core thoughts and beliefs are formed when we are reliant on others to tell us who we are and what we are worth. However, they can only tell us who we are based on who they know themselves to be...they can only give us what they've got.
Working with the Girl Scouts last weekend reminded me of the impact of the actions and words of others on our being. When I was a pre-teen I was bullied by other girls who told me "You think you cute" or "You think you are 'all that'." Their comments taught me that if I thought I was special, I might be ostracized, ridiculed, or beat up by other girls. In effort to keep myself safe, I began to shrink. I acted as if I was not as amazing, smart, beautiful, or unique as I was. When other women drew attention to my gifts and talents I would downplay them. If someone told me my dress looked great I would say, "I've had this thing for years." If someone noticed I was intelligent I would make light of it by responding, "I can read." My experiences with those mean girls in 7th grade had affected my ability to celebrate myself, receive praise from others, and to let my light shine. This is just one example of the many things I had to unpack and unlearn so that I could live well and experience happiness. I am honored to encourage other girls, and boys, to become self-loving and self-affirming early in life.
Until we are willing to explore our core beliefs, those developed by our parents, communities, television, society and ourselves, we cannot fully experience the truth of who we are: love and and light. Allow us to coach you as you learn to unpack the thoughts and behaviors you learned that served to keep you safe during your formative years. Many of these thoughts and behaviors are the same ones that are holding you back in your adult life. Let's learn and grow together. Allow B. Well to show you the way!
Dr. Adrianne R. Pinkney
Integrative Wellness and Life Coach